You're not broken, you are stronger than you know
by Originalhybridlover
Summary: Oliver returns to Starling to help his city after the undertaking but soon comes to the belief that Felicity needed him just as much as the city. She's hurting and he doesn't know and he refuses to watch her light dim with each passing day. He will do whatever it takes to help her.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: i Do not own Arrow. I just enjoy playing in their sandbox. All writing mistakes are my own.**

When Oliver left Starling after the undertaking he knew the city was in need of some serious healing but he didn't know what else he could do for it when he was the one to fail it in the first place.

He was unable to stop Malcolm and 503 people were dead because of his failure.

So he left believing the city would survive. It somehow always did. He knew he would be leaving it in the very capable hands of John Diggle and Felicity Smoak.

And his family didn't need him making things worse. His mother was in jail, Thea was Thea, she was stronger than most gave her credit for, he wasn't even sure his sister even knew just how strong and resilient she really was and she had Walter to look out for her. Tommy was pissed at him and he had every right to be and Oliver preferred that to his best friend, his brother being dead, the worst possible alternative.

When he had arrived at CNRI and found Tommy impaled with a piece of rebar through his side he hadn't felt fear like that in a long time.

Later realizing how close he came to losing Tommy it really put a lot of things in perspective for him.

About him, Tommy and Laurel. What he and Laurel did to Tommy was wrong on so many levels and he hadn't deserved it.

And now when he really thought about it, it was never about the woman herself. It was what she represented for him for the last five years. A chance to right his wrongs, fix his mistakes. A chance to redeem himself.

But Laurel Lance was not his redemption. She never was. He should have realized that sooner. Maybe then he could have saved his life long friendship with Tommy.

It was a real eye opener though when his mother was in jail, Tommy was in the hospital, 503 people lost their lives, homes and families in shambles, ruined beyond repair and all Laurel could think about was them moving on together like nothing of the past five years ever happened. Laurel and Oliver that was all that mattered to her.

Oliver decided he was not here for that. He didn't want to start over with her. He didn't want to make things worse than they already were with Tommy but more than that he wasn't in the right headspace to start anything with anyone.

And if their one night together had shown him anything it was that what he once had with Laurel was no longer something he wanted.

He wanted something else than what he had with her. Something different. Something more and he didn't think that was something he could find with Laurel.

When left it was with the belief that Diggle and Felicity would look after the city.

Diggle could focus on living his own life instead of fighting a crusade that wasn't his.

And as for Felicity he knew, he believed out of everyone she would be okay. She was Felicity Small the most capable woman he had ever come to know. He left her a generously large sum of money to thank her for everything she did for him. He knew she was going to go on to do great things with whatever she decided moving forward. He wished her the best in moving on with her life.

So he left going back to the place that made him who he was today.

He didn't expect for his friends to come after him. He didn't expect for everything to have change so much or for his loved ones to be vastly different in such a short amount of time.

Felicity in particular.

She seemed more closed off than he ever remembered her being, it was unsettling and for the life of him he didn't know why. It made him feel lost, like he was adrift at sea once again with no hope of coming home.

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 **A/N: This was an idea I had.**

 **I don't know if I will continue it. Mainly because this story will be dark with trigger themes and has the potential to be the darkest thing I've ever written.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I finally got around to updating this story. I hope you like this chapter.**

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Felicity shifted on her feet, feeling a little nervous. Oliver wasn't here to do this, and she thought he should have been. Felicity didn't begrudge him for needing to take some time to himself. After everything he'd been through, she believed he earned that right.

Still, it didn't change the fact there was a city, his city that needed him. His best friend just lost his father. Malcolm was the worst, but he was still Tommy's father.

Tommy, who had been seriously injured, hospitalized and was looking at a very long road to recovery. Moira was in jail. Walter was doing his best to keep QC afloat. A near-impossible task considering the scandal behind Moira and Robert Queen's involvement in the Undertaking that had leveled the Glades and killed over 300 people. Thea was on her own besides Walter and Tommy, her brother up and left, her mother was in prison and her boyfriend, Roy, was having constant run-ins with the law.

Felicity felt like it was up to her to pick up the fractured pieces of Oliver's life, his family. At least she still had Digg to talk to and help shoulder the burden.

Felicity took a deep breath and nodded to herself. She walked forward not paying much regard to the man in a black suit standing guard.

"Miss, you can't go in." his hand shot out blocking her.

Felicity pursed her lips. "I just want to check in on a friend."

"I understand, but I'm under strict instructions that unless you're Thea Queen or Laurel Lance, you are not going in there."

Felicity glared, she wanted to yell at him, but she knew he was just doing his job. "Fine, could you tell him Felicity stopp-"

"Wait, you're Felicity Smoak?" The guard's stern tone change, becoming more friendly.

"Last time I checked that's what it says on my birth certificate," Felicity responded with an arched brow.

"Sorry about that, ma'am." he apologized, stepping aside to let her pass.

"I thought I wasn't allowed unless I was Thea or Laurel?" She questioned.

"Mr. Diggle gave one exception to that order," he answered. "With Felicity Smoak being the exception. Again, I apologize, Ma'am."

"It's okay, Mr.." Felicity trailed off expectantly.

"James Evans." Evans supplied.

"It's okay, Mr. Evans, I know you're just doing your job."

Evan's nodded in reply, and she smiled politely moving past him and pushing her way into the room he was guarding. Her eyes taking in the white walls, the beeping monitor and the man hooked up to it with an IV drip.

His skin was pale, his lips cracked and dry with dark circles under his eyes, his hair was unruly and spiked up in a case of terrible bedhead. Honestly, Felicity had never seen Tommy Merlyn look worse for wear.

He looked up as she entered his room, registering surprise. "Felicity?"

"Hey, I brought you some get well flowers. I figured they could brighten up your room a bit." His room was pretty sparse of get-well cards or flowers.

"I'm afraid all I'm getting these days are death threats calling for a Merlyn's head. It's why your friend Mr. Diggle thought it necessary to have security stationed at my door."

Felicity frowned, placing the flowers on his hospital tray table. "The city is looking for someone to blame. Mrs. Queen is in custody, but Malcolm is dead, and because Mr. Merlyn is dead they're looking for the next scapegoat, so they figure why not the last remaining Merlyn. Still, none of that makes it right. What your father did isn't on you. None of this is your fault."

Tommy's eyes shuttered at the mention of his father. "Oliver promised me, he didn't kill him. He lied."

Felicity pursed her lips. "He thought you were going to die, and he didn't want that to be your last memory. I know it doesn't excuse his lying, but he was trying to give you peace of mind in what he believed was going to be your last moments."

Tommy frowned at her. "You make it really hard for a guy to be mad when you make his actions sound rational."

"Things look rational from an outsider's perspective. I'm not saying you can't be angry or mad at him. After everything that has happened between the two of you in the past couple of months, I think you deserve to feel; however, you want."

Tommy's brow furrowed. "What are you saying then?"

"I'm saying if you're going to be mad and blame Oliver at least look at it from a clear perspective and make sure it's for the right reasons."

A silence fell over them as he considered her words. A part of Tommy knew she was right. He was angry with Oliver, but it wasn't all about his dad. It was about Laurel, about Oliver's willingness to kill. It was about the secrets and lack of trust. It was the fact that he no longer knew who his best friend was.

Yes, he blamed Oliver for all of it. But how did he stop blaming Oliver when he was at the center of it all.

"I hear you, but I don't know how to not be mad about everything and being stuck in this hospital doesn't help any," said Tommy doing his best not to take his anger out on her that he felt for Oliver.

"Maybe what you need is time," Felicity said quietly. "Time to work through your anger and time to heal."

"Maybe," Tommy said though he didn't believe it was that easy or that simple.

"In any case, I'm here if you need anything," Felicity smiled. "Even if you just need a substitute friend."

"Substitute friend?" Tommy repeated, he felt his lips tugging up into a small smile despite his bad mood.

"Yeah, you know, like a stand-in friend. Since I would be subbing in for Oliver, filling in for him since he decided he couldn't be here right now."

"Felicity Smoak has anyone ever told you, you're a little on the weird side?"

Felicity smiled wryly. "You wouldn't be the first to say that."

"All the best people are," Tommy continued flashing Felicity a small grin.

Felicity smiled and shook her head just as the door to Tommy's room opened again, Tommy's face lighting up with his latest visitor. "Thea," he greeted.

"Hey, I was going to come by sooner, but it's tough avoiding the media right now. It's a shit show out there." Thea greeted, her eyes moved to Felicity, her brow furrowing. "Hey, don't I know you. You're Oliver's friend, right? You came to the hospital when Walter came back. Felicity, I think it was?

"Yes, that was me," Felicity nodded.

"I didn't know you were friends with Tommy, too," Thea glanced at Tommy.

"We met through Oliver and the club. She set up the club's Wifi, and she's been a good friend." Tommy told her. "You should get to know each other. I'm sure the two of you would hit it off."

"I'm gonna go, but I'll see you later. Tommy." Felicity interjected.

"You don't have to leave." Tommy protested.

"Yeah, stay, if you're going to be hanging around Tommy and Oliver, I definitely think we should get to know each other better." Thea took the chair next to Tommy's bedside, leaning back in the seat and crossing her legs gracefully. "So Felicity, just what kind of friends are you with Tommy and Oliver?"

"The usual kind?" Felicity said she hadn't meant to sound so unsure, but she suddenly felt like she was sitting in an interrogation room, and Thea Queen was her interrogator.

Her flight and fight instincts were kicking in but how the hell was she supposed to just walk out with Tommy looking at her like he was looking for acceptance and Thea like she was her new project.

With a sigh, she settled into the second chair. "What do you want to know?"

Thea leaned forward with keen interest. "I know how you and Tommy met, but how did you meet my brother? How long have you been friends? Or you really just friends or something more? Just how close are you to Tommy and Oliver?"

Felicity's eyes widened as Thea fired question after question in rapid succession, Tommy snickering in the background.

Felicity didn't know where to start answering Thea's question, and all she could think was...

What did she just get herself into?

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 **A/N: Thanks for reading!**


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